Nurturing: Men

I want to be clear when I speak these words because I know I get angry and out of order sometimes on this topic.

Men.
Nurturing: Men.

I wonder if I could nurture a boy what kind of things I would say to him to love him into understanding why his backbone needs to be strong?
Is it me or does it seem like masculinity...is now more a part of me than quite a few of my counterparts? Gloria Steinem said, "We are becoming the men we wanted to marry." And this is not a problem if men don't mind. But they do. And they complain or leave or become passive aggressive abusers.

Men sincerely seem to be afraid of women who know what they want.
Men sincerely seem to be afraid of commitment.
Men sincerely seem to be afraid of doing the most righteous and upstanding thing.

Can a woman actually teach a man to be a better man?
When women submit to men are we actually helping the situation or making a man feel worse?
Do men feel emasculated by powerful women?
And how does love play a role in these relationships?

My commentary...
I think men and women feel the same about validation.
Self confidence is a major problem in our relationships normally from the up jump because it seems like so many us are battling how to be better and not believing that who we are is enough. Like perfectionism is not always healthy. It breeds fear of failure. It breeds insecurity. It breeds dis-contentment with reality to the point of sometimes not being able to change it. Because what you know about life, love, happiness...is enough even if its not what you want.

Who we are right now, is valid. We are taught to keep trying keep going, keep taking criticism, keeping striving to be "something", even when that "something" is not even an accurate reflection of who we are. And this is not to say that we should stop trying to attain things. Quite the contrary, we need goals and aspirations. But we don't need to be second guessing ourselves out of everything. Because we end up mediocre. We end up sitting on fences. We end up abusing our character by denying ourselves real opportunities to grow and replacing them with questions about yourself that don't need answers. Because they don't matter.

Accept who you are and move forward. Men.
Accept your privilege.
Accept the size of your penis.
Accept your reading and writing capabilities.
Accept your beauty.
Accept your strength.
Accept your weakness.
Accept your vulnerability.
Accept that you are who you are and if there is still an issue, as me/mom/friends for help because I really can't stand another frustrating love.
Its hard to deal with fake confidence. Like we can't see that the confidence you move with is flawed if there are so many things about you/me/us that you are still worried about. Stop.
Love yourself.
Then you can do what you need to do.
Love yourself.
Then you can love me, honestly.
Love yourself.
Because, I will love you anyway.
But we can't be safe in that space until you know how amazing you are and are meant to be.

Kisses