To my "white" friends (and other ethnic friends who need to get with the program).

I want to speak about a certain silence that exists when I know that I am the only person of color you know.

I want to speak about a certain apprehension or fear in knowing someone like me. A black person. A person of color.

What you expect from me is a lot different than what I expect from you.
And it calls into play the question of privilege that so many of you forget, or choose not to recognize its existence in the politics that make up our friendships.

So... What does that mean for you? What exactly am I trying to say?

Well friend, I am trying to say that I see a double standard in the way we do things... How we absorb things...When its cool to be about things...
You are afraid of me.
You are afraid of blackness.
You are afraid of African identities.
You seem to be self-conscious when surrounded by people of color.
You seem less willing to participate in my life when you know that you may be the only white person there, but I never see you take that as an opportunity to grow, I only see you take that as an opportunity to run or draw a line.
Becoming cultured and not acculturated should be personal obligation, but even if you did end up being acculturated (like so many of us were against our will), would that really be so bad in 2010 when you can choose what you like and love it and rock it?

Being black means so many things to me, but my being your black friend probably means a lot more politically to you than it does me.

Having black friends doesn't make you any less of a racist and loving Bob Marley doesn't make you any less of a racist and reading or watching Malcolm X or Martin Luther King Jr. or Dave Chapelle, doesn't make you any less racist.

What makes you, you and neutral, and supportive, is the willingness to accept that historically, white people have done some messed-up shit and as a result you feel afraid sometimes to be surrounded by "too many black people". Feel that anxiety and confront it. I'm sure you will grow.

Its admitting to yourself that you are ignorant about the struggles of African people beyond its third-world context. Know that the realities you witness on the 6 o'clock news or in a PSA about Somalia or Ethiopia or Congo are only a fraction of the truth, (if that!) and you owe it to yourself to do more research. Especially if it plucks on your heart strings.

Its accepting that you have a lot to learn about the human condition and resilience in the 21st century from the long standing contributions of dedicated people to humanitarian progress (of all ethnic backgrounds) and taking a hard look at race and its terribly inaccurate discourse. Its accepting your identity, by accepting people for who and what they are.
Having an anti-oppression stance on race (gender, class, economics, neo-colonialism, etc) makes you a tolerant and progressive person.

This, my friend, is work. Its intellectual work. Its mental work. Its spiritual work in the attempts to better yourself so you can see the brilliance and goodness in the creators off-spring. The divine intention for all of us being together and loving one another.
This work has some harsh realities but at least you may be able to move on.

Technically speaking, I would have far more just cause to be afraid of you in social settings and context. I have far more just cause to be non-supportive and absent from your attempts at progress and understanding. I was told a bunch of one-sided lies in school about the history of mankind and its nations all in favor of your human experience over mine. Systematically.

And until I see my white friends, taking a chance to educate themselves on the misgivings and fallacies of our current society...
Until I see my white friends showing up with the capacity to grow in love and not in the colonizing of space and ideas or the appropriation of culture or class...
Until I see my white friends take a stand against white privilege and the perils its causes in our relationships, communities and the greater society at large...
Until I see my white friends getting with the program...

We are going to have awkward silences...
We are going to have insincere moments...
We are going to have a disconnect because its time for change.

Burst your bubble of privilege and learn something.

Kisses