I am not as confused as before.
Still angry.
Much has changed but I longed for it.
I have been tempted to call and ask what has come of the year.
Since our anniversary is coming up. The season of tears is definitely not in repetition, but I still think about you.
I still think about you.
I still shed a tear or two over you.
Thinking about your mother and your books and your father and his looks.
I still cry over you wishing things could be different.
Wanting to call and ask what has come of the year. But too afraid to know.
That...
You might be doing better than me.
You may not be thinking of me at all.
Or maybe you are expecting a child.
Or maybe you moved.
Or maybe you don't miss me at all.
(sigh)
One of these days...I am going to feel better about this.
One of these days.
This was sooo beautiful. It's been a few weeks since I went through my own heartache, but your words so beautifully capture what feels like an eternity of pain.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how love tricks you into thinking that forever is so far away until your heart is broken and you're left with nothing but pain, isn't it?
I'm dealing with my ego, my heartache, the "me" I created to attract him and the mistake I made when I couldn't keep up the act.
Thank you for posting this...